Undead Knights

Yawn of the Dead

You know this is definitely a Tecmo property when you see the Queen of the game's kingdom or, more specifically, her giant breasts and revealing dress. Years of unsatisfactory back support have made her insufferably cranky, so she suggests the King order the execution of the game's three main characters and their entire clan for speaking out against her. Some hocus pocus causes them to be reborn as undead ass-kickers, which is very useful because otherwise Undead Knights would be little more than watching your murdered triumvirate slowly decompose.

It's a tale of revenge in a Renaissance setting, but the execution isn't exactly Shakespearian. The two most scintillating bits of dialog to the game are probably "too much talking, not enough dying" and "burn f**kers, burn!" Very classy. The characters muse away as if they were stars of a cheesy 80s anime, and the localisation team's budget for voice actors enhances the cheese factor. It is unlikely that Undead Knights will ever be the subject of any 'are games art' discussions.

But story and presentation come second to whacking buttons and lopping off heads because we are dealing with an action game. The required gimmick - because we are dealing with an action game - is that a tap of circle will turn your enemies into a devout zombie follower. Because we are dealing with an action game, there's light and heavy attacks and points you earn from killing enemies with them go towards buying upgrades that enable you to kill even more enemies.

You can keep 10 zombie followers at any one time, with every subsequent addition to your undead ranks replacing an existing member. Your zombies shuffle about in a bid to attract enemy attention and, less importantly, do paltry bits of damage here and there. They can also be picked up and used as shields, thrown about or just slammed into the ground to cause big chunks of damage to whatever is in the way. Hint: repeating these techniques is the key to slaying the game's feistier opponents. The 20 levels follow the same format. Enter a new area and you'll be given one of two tasks. The first is to murder a certain amount of a particular set of enemies, the other requires you to navigate over an obstacle, which is always solved by growing an army of zombies and holding down the R trigger, which instructs your units to shamble over to the environmental hindrance and become a bridge, mush themselves in gears, knock down walls etc. You'll have to kill your fair share of enemies here, too, because otherwise they'll pick off your zombies or interrupt your lengthy holding-down-R animation.

That's often quite a problem. R commands your troops to do things, but they'll only properly follow your orders when you're pointing at a target whilst holding the button. Get thwacked and, other than falling over and taking damage, 'order interrupted' will pop up on the screen and force you to start again. The game promises all sorts of tactical interactions with your zombies, but the fussy restrictions and awkward controls means your time spent using them will be kept to the bare minimum.

Combat revolves around the rhythmic tapping of square-square-circle, although in later levels the mooks get upgraded and transform the game into square-square-square-circle. If you transform an enemy into a zombie whilst they're flashing red you gets a health boost, which becomes a tactic you'll regularly employ as enemies are well versed in bringing the pain. Low-level opponents never stop respawning, however, so you'll always find yourself chopping through something to swell the ranks of your mini-army and offset the damage you'll inevitably be taking.

There are three characters to select and, turning the established conventions of videogames on their head, the obligatory female isn't the fast-but-weak option. This does not, however, change the fact you'll just pick chunky bruiser Romulus - the guy on the cover - because he strikes the perfect balance between speed and damage.

Like with any night out on the town, you'll find the camera getting in the way. It hovers directly behind you and requires constant resetting with taps of the L trigger: anyone who has held a PSP knows that pressing L whilst your thumb is on the analog nub is not comfortable. It's manageable, and anyone who has played Monster Hunter (the entire population of Japan) will be used to it, but it's hardly a perfect solution and will definitely cause you to take damage from time to time.

A set of in-game achievements and plenty of upgrades are included to promote replayability, but I found myself struggling to complete the game once. Its main offence is that levels are completely unremarkable, blur together and regularly outstay their welcome. Its rigid, right-angled level design lacks any creative or aesthetic spark, and throwing in a few bright-blue zombie peons doesn't immediately make the game an appetising prospect. The only thing you'll be feeling when you see another towering, bulbous-stomached executioner spawn into the level is thoroughly bored.

It often feels half-finished. The basic premise and idea is often better than its inelegant execution, and the game exhausts its pool of ideas by the end of the third level. There's a good concept resting within Undead Knights, but Tecmo have completely failed at bringing it to life.

55%

By Martin Gaston